Arthur from A to ---

by Lin Morris... “Kurt will be right up.” Kurt? You mean Kurt the gorgeous maintenance guy who keeps almost catching me checking him out (and I think-slash-hope I almost catch checking me out, too)...

A is for Art: That’s both me, Arthur, and the painting that’s now mysteriously hanging outside the COO’s office. Hmmm. Wasn’t there when I left work yesterday.

B is for Bossman: Did he hang the painting overnight? Wouldn’t be the strangest thing he’s done after one of his half-day “lunches.” (B also stands for Booze.) Afternoons consist of no tougher Executive Assistance from me than keeping breath mints, aspirin, and Gatorade at the ready. I look up at the security camera over the door, wondering what nocturnal hijinks it’s seen.

C is for Cacophony: Mid-morning, the painting suddenly crashes to the floor. Shattered glass flies everywhere; the picture is in shreds. Now I’m definitely sure Bossman hung it.

D is for Down: Unable to reach Maintenance, I elevator to the lobby for help.

E is for Elaine: Receptionist Extraordinaire. She has someone on the horn in seconds.

“Kurt will be right up.” Kurt? You mean Kurt the gorgeous maintenance guy who keeps almost catching me checking him out (and I think-slash-hope I almost catch checking me out, too)? That Kurt?

F is for Flush: Which I do immediately. Also stands for: Funny, the look Elaine gives me.

“Ohhh,” she drawls, “Arthur’s got a little crush.”

G is for “Gurl, please!”: What I say to Elaine, rolling my eyes.

H is for Heartbeat: Mine is suddenly a BPM dance track.

I is for Inscrutable: My face as I step into the elevator. An expression that says, Nothing to see here.

J is for Jubilant: My secret dance after the elevator doors close.

K is for Kurt: 10/10, No Notes, Highly Recommend!

L is for Lust: Yeah, I don’t need to explain this one.

M is for Maintenance Man: He’s waiting outside Bossman’s office with his tool bag.

“Hi,” he says. Lanky limbs, lush lips, long lashes. Wait, I may need to go back and change L.

N is for Nail: Which Kurt picks out of the shattered debris and rehammers into the wall.

“Crisis over!” he laughs, rehanging the broken picture frame.

O is for Ochtervelt: 17 th -century Dutch painter, whose “The Sleeping Cavelier” is now in tatters. Yeah, I’ve never heard of him, either, but Kurt has. Beauty, and smarts, too!

P is for Power: The strength of Kurt’s hands as he suddenly reaches out and cups my face. He leans in, eyes intense.

R is for Romance: Yes, this is it! I lean in, too, my breath shaky.

S is for Shard: As in, the piece of glass Kurt pulls from my hair. “Oof, that could’ve been painful.” I pull back, mortified by our crossed wires.

T is for—

Suddenly, the inner office door bangs open. Bossman staggers out, drunk and angry.

“Goin’ on here?” He points at Kurt. “You! Clean this up!”

Bossman grabs my arm. “You broke my picture!”

“Sorry, boss.” I aim for breezy but miss.

“That’s priceless art!”

“It’s a print.” Kurt puts his hand atop Bossman’s and pries it off me. “Cost you, what, 50 bucks?”

“How dare you!” Bossman rages. “I’ll have your job!”

“Fantastic!” Kurt points to the security camera. “Let’s take it up with HR, shall we?”

He gives me a shy smile. “But first, I’d like to take Arthur to lunch. Which I’ve wanted to do since pretty much the day I started.” This time, he’s blushing. “I mean, if he wants to.”

T – Z…

I don’t know, maybe I’ll come back to them later.

Because right now, I have a lunch date.

***