Hallmark or Bust

By Rebecca Linam

“I can practically smell the magic in the air! Nutmeg and cinnamon and Christmassy magic.” Katie exited her bus in the small town of Reindeer’s Crossing. Her mission—bump into a handsome man, start a whirlwind romance during the next seven days, and have at least one date by the time her vacation ended, thereby breaking the thirty-one-year curse of never having been asked out on a date.

After all, it always worked in those Christmassy Hallmark movies. The heroine always married the guy she bumped into. Why shouldn’t it work for her for one measly date? She shouldered her overnight bag and sashayed down the snow-lined downtown sidewalk looking for her bed and breakfast: the Candy Cane. Even the name was cute!

There! A tall, muscular man with the trademark plaid shirt of a smalltown guy walked a few feet behind her. Freshly shaven, he carried a Christmas tree on one shoulder that contrasted against his dark wavy hair. It was now or never. She bent over to “check” her shoe. The moment he stood even with her, she popped to her feet.

“Oh, sorry, ma’am.” The Christmas tree hunk sidestepped her and kept going.

Katie stared after him watching her hopes and dreams go down the drain.

“Out of the way, lady. We’ve got things to do!” a voice barreled behind her.

Katie blinked and stepped away. No one was ever that rude in small towns on TV. Then again, the heroine always managed to bump into the guy during the first fifteen minutes without problem. Perhaps Rule No. 2 of small-town love would fix that: sipping on fresh hot chocolate in the local pastry shop.

Her eyes traced the list of stores on Main Street. Trey’s Pawn Shop. Beauty Nails. Cash Loan Haven. An emblem of coffee shone back at her like a welcome beacon between a thrift store and an abandoned building with two shattered windows: Mae’s Diner.

Well, better than nothing. Katie pushed the door open with a creak louder than a squeaky shopping cart wheel. “Seat yourself,” she read from a chalkboard sign. Grabbing a menu, she headed for the first open booth, sidestepping a thirty-something man with auto grease on his face and more on his shirt.

CRASH!

The next thing she knew, she lay on her back with six of the grease monkey’s face swirling around her head. Gradually, they merged into three and then one.

“Aiiiiiiiii!” Katie sprang to her feet and hit the door running. A cold sweat formed on her arms.

You’re doomed to marry a grease monkey! You ran into him in a small town! The Hallmark formula never lies!

The tears dropped from her eyes onto the freshly fallen magical Christmas snow as she darted past small-town citizens about their daily business. Off to the side, Santa Claus rang his Salvation Army bell for donations outside a beauty parlor, yet not even Santa could fix the mess Katie had gotten herself into.

“Wait, ma’am!”

One look over her shoulder showed the grease pit guy waving his hands around like a madman. The Hallmark formula was in full force. He would pursue her to the ends of the earth, and she would be doomed to marry a guy she couldn’t even look at without getting a grease stain on her eyeballs. With a last burst of desperation, she ducked through the nearest doorway into a mass of Christmas trees…

…and face to face with the hunky Christmas tree guy from earlier.

“Good afternoon, ma’am. Can I interest you in a Christmas tree?” he said.

Katie’s face burned against the frigid air. “Um-m-m-m-m.” Could she fight against her fate of romance with the grease pit and win the Christmas tree hunk? Her eyes darted from the masses of Christmas trees to the employee’s calm blue eyes. She opened her mouth.

“There you are!” a voice shouted behind her. “Lady, you’re a hard one to track down. I’ve been trying to find you and—”

The grease monkey! Looking up, she saw the name of her B & B, the Candy Cane, glaring out at her just beyond the Christmas tree hunk. Today was a wash. There was nothing left to do but take refuge in the B & B and hide out until her plane left next week. Hallmark could go jump in the lake.

She was finished with romance.

* * *

“A penny for your thoughts.”

The voice pulled Katie from her daze of hot chocolate. She looked up from the steam rising in her mug to see a man standing across from her in the B & B lobby. Tall, light brown hair, and muscular. He wore a polo shirt that fit him as if it had been tailored just for him. Where had she seen him before?

“I know you from somewhere,” she said. “Don’t I?”

“Mind if I join you?” His hand rested on the back of the empty chair.

“Sure, go ahead. The day can’t get any worse.”

“That bad, huh?” He flagged the B & B manager to ask for a hot chocolate.

Katie nodded. “I flubbed the Hallmark test.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“The Hallmark test. You know. You bump into some guy in a small town, and he ends up being your one true love.” She stirred a half-melted marshmallow in a circle of hot chocolate. “Heck, all I wanted to do was go out on a date or two, maybe get to know some guy.”

The man smiled.

“I’m sorry. Do I know you? You look so familiar.” Katie felt the red creeping up into her face.

“Actually, yes, we have met. I’m David Prince.”

“I’m Katie.” She shook her head. “Your name doesn’t ring a bell.”

“It wouldn’t. We weren’t formally introduced.”

Katie sipped her hot chocolate, coughed, and removed the scummy film that had glazed over the top of the mug. Where had she seen the guy before? Maybe if he had a little grease on his face…

She steadied the mug in her hands. “The grease monkey,” she sputtered. “Th-th-th-that man who was following me.”

But now he looked more like a secret prince masquerading in a small town.

David threw back his head and laughed. “I was just trying to apologize for bumping into you, but you ran off like the devil was after you. Of course, me being covered in grease, you probably thought the Old Scratch himself was after you. I stopped to help a stranded car on the way back into town and got covered in grease. Now why don’t I ask you out to dinner tonight to apologize?”

With that, the Christmas magic was back.

“I would love to,” Katie said.

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