It Was Always You...

By Dan Jachimiak

I want to fit in … I want a boyfriend. My name is Carol and I’m seventeen years old. I’m a junior at Montgomery High School here in the city.

And I never had a boyfriend.

My best friend is Christine, we’ve known each other since third grade. Christine is also seventeen and goes to a different school, a private all-girls high school.

I guess I’m not bad looking for a high school junior. I’m a happy and placid teenager. I am a curious person, always asking questions of my parents and teachers. I have red hair and green eyes. I wish I went to the same school as Christine … she’s my bestie.

I want a boyfriend. All the other girls in my class seem to have one … why not me ? I decided to take an aggressive approach to making this happen. I would try out for the cheerleading squad – I’d be around the boy athletes. And I would audition to be in our high school play. I’d also be more outgoing in class, more attentive to the boys in the class, and be accessible to the boys. By that I mean, because I’m not working yet, I’d be available to go out on a date if asked. I want the boys to know my name - it’s Carol.

One afternoon I asked my mom what to look for in a boy. And she told me the story that when her and Dad first met, and they kissed for the first time, that she felt the magic of love. And she’d been feeling that magic for nineteen years.

So, I made the cheerleading squad and joined the drama club and auditioned for a part in the spring school play.

After all my efforts, I finally met a boy named Sam. He’s in my class, my second hour English class. Sam asked me to go to a movie with him this week, and, yes, I accepted. After the movie, he walked me home and asked if he could have a kiss goodnight. Remembering my mom’s words, I kissed Sam. But no magic … Nothing at all. Could mom have been wrong ? I kissed Sam again, a little longer, but again, nothing. Oh well, back to the drawing board …

A couple of weeks later we had tryouts for our school play and I won a supporting role and got paired up with a boy named Johnny. In our third week of rehearsal, Johnny finally asked me out. My plan was working.

We went out to dinner, just to Bob’s Burgers, the neighborhood fast food restaurant. We had burgers, fries, and two Cokes. Johnny’s a nice guy, friendly, considerate, attractive, and a good actor. After we ate, Johnny wanted to walk down to the park, find a secluded spot, and maybe make out. I had never done that before with a boy, and didn’t feel comfortable doing that on the first date. So, I asked him to take me home. On my front porch he asked if I was mad at him. No, no … I just had never done that before. He said it’s easy and fun, and to give him a kiss. I did kiss him … but again, no magic.

Th next day I called Christine to tell her what had happened. She had to hear the whole story, so she came to my house. As I waited for her, I asked myself if maybe mom was wrong. Maybe Sam is not the right guy, maybe Johnny isn’t the right guy. When Christine got to my house, we went up to my room and laid on the bed as only best friends do. I’m proud of my bedroom. Mom had helped me redecorate it last summer. It was warm and cozy and inviting. I had a double bed, dresser, and desk. And my own TV which my parents gave me for my sixteenth birthday. I even had cable !

I told Christine about my dates with Sam and Johnny, but she had no real advice for me. We were comfortable just lying there, when Christine leaned over and said, “Carol, I love you.” I responded, “I love you too, Christine”. She leaned over again, getting even closer, and kissed me. Her soft lips touched mine … hesitantly … guardedly … yet lovingly. And I felt something new and exciting in the depths of my being, and in my heart. I felt the magic my mom had told me about. I said, “I love you, Christine … I always have.”

I had thought about Christine before, as she had thought about me. And we both accepted that.

My life changed that afternoon and changed even more four years later when we married. I had found the magic …

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Dan Jachimiak is a retired real estate Broker and currently teaches ELA part-time. He writes poetry and flash fiction and enjoys most music.