Loved A Boy

Contemporary Romance By H. N. Roberts; Regret; Second Chances

I fell in love with a boy once. I was so deep in love with him. And I am sure he loved me too. He said it so many times. Yet, I had to leave him behind. His future wasn’t with me. He deserved more. More than I could ever give him as the girl I was. I was broken. Stained. Lost. That boy… He was none of those things. If I stayed, I would have brought him down with me. Not that it matters now. He is gone. And I survived. Survived the loss of that love. Survived the tragedy that was my childhood. Survived everything but the nightmares that still linger a decade later.

“Mom,” a little voice calls out. “I have to potty.”

Turning, I find my daughter there wiggling and clenching her pants. I reach out and grab the next love of my life. “C’mon. I’ll take you.”

As we exit the bathroom, I am hit by a wave of nausea. It rocks me so hard I fall into the wall at my side. I’ve never felt like this. Not even when I was pregnant. Blackness tries hard to take over my vision. I fight violently at the need to pass out. I can’t leave my daughter alone. I don’t even know this place. It was only a stop off on the way to my cousin’s place only a half hour away from here. We are supposed to move in for a while. Us for a new start and as a help to her, seeing as she herself only had a new baby and the father decided to run off into the wind leaving Kaitlyn with no one and a rent she couldn’t afford by herself.

“Ava,” I cry out, clenching my baby girl’s hand harder. “We need to go.”

“You sick, momma?”

“Yeah, baby.”

I clench at my stomach which roils under my grip. My pulse is accelerating in my panic. The blackness not letting up at the edges of my vision. What is happening to me?

“Mister man, my momma’s sick,” I hear Ava cry to someone. I dread the fact that she is talking to a stranger. But seeing as I cannot even see her anymore and my mind seems to be locked in a box, I cannot reprimand her.

“Garrett! Get over here.”

Garrett. I loved a boy named Garrett once. He played hockey. He said he loved me. I saw him cry as I ran away from him one freezing cold evening. It was the last time I ever saw him in person. I dreamed of him for years. It was one of the happier dreams that I clung to. It got me through some times that I still tried to forget. Only Ava’s soft touch and the memory of that boy ever made those painful memories go away.

“Momma. Momma. Momma.” I feel small hands shake at my body. “Please be okay, momma.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ve got her.” A deep voice mumbles those words as a warmth envelops me. I feel weightless. Picked up in strong arms as a small hand caresses my leg. “Hey, beautiful. Long time since I saw you. I’ve got both of you and I’m going to get you to the hospital. Just stay with us.”

Those are the last words I hear before the blackness envelopes me completely.