Perfect In Love

Kara Kahnke delivers a moving depiction of the difficulties those with disabilities face when it comes to physical intimacy...and the joy of overcoming the obstacles...

When we’re in bed, you say, “Do you think your physical therapist could teach you to roll straight?”

Scoliosis twists my spine, making it hard to experience a typical body position.

You tilt a water bottle to illustrate. “You’re lying on a slant, curled up when you roll toward me. It’s hard to cuddle.”

You reach for my hand. Our fingers lace together, your thumb tracing mine. You don’t have to ask me twice. I want to cuddle with you too, and for some reason, I can’t understand how my body needs to be even though you try to explain.

As a person with a disability, I sometimes have to ask for help with extremely personal tasks such as showering or dressing. So, when you ask me to seek outside help, I go without being upset. Maybe it’s a little embarrassing, but all I really want is you. You’re worth it.

My PT clarifies. “Bring your legs down even with your hips. Lengthen your legs. Make space for him.”

Later, I show you. I lengthen. Straighten. Make space.

You surround me in warmth and kiss me. Holding tight. “That’s better.”

My imperfect body is perfect in love.