Pineapple Tart

By Linette Rabsatt

In the Virgin Islands, people take Christmas seriously. They purchase new curtains and household fixtures and buy their hams early. All businesses and government agencies are decorated and employees plan the holiday parties. Of course, everyone bakes their Christmas goodies and those with no baking expertise, order their tarts, pudding, and fruitcake weeks in advance.

Owen wasn’t looking forward to the staff party. He worked for the government as a Data Entry Clerk and had been trying to get a promotion for some time. The coworkers that he considered friends, Jaime and Tina, begged him to attend the function. The event’s theme was “The Best Tart,” and employees were encouraged to dress in the colors of their favorite tart flavors.

Tarts are special to Virgin Islanders. They engage in social media debates about the flavors, which are mainly pineapple, coconut, guava, and to a lesser extent, guavaberry. Owen’s favorite was pineapple so he bought a gold polo shirt and had someone print a pineapple at the back. Jaime’s favorite was coconut and Tina’s was guava.

It was the night of the party and Tina picked up everyone. When they arrived, they entered a festive setting with beautiful decorations in the shapes of the tart flavors. Everyone was dressed to impress. Tina wore a pink shimmery off-the-shoulder mini dress and Jaime donned a white long-sleeved shirt with khaki jeans. Most of the 200 coworkers were there and there were a few strange faces. Jaime and Tina were more sociable so they mingled, while Owen sat in a corner with his sorrel drink and observed everyone.

The manager, Mr. Todman, took the microphone and welcomed everyone. He proudly announced that his favorite tart was guavaberry, which did not receive much applause. People snickered. He also dressed in a deep purple jacket that resembled guavaberry liqueur. He asked about the other flavors and coconut was the most popular. Guava was a distant second and pineapple only had a few supporters.

The room buzzed with energy because everyone loved the debate. Mr. Todman offered the microphone to anyone who wanted to defend pineapple. He was looking at Owen, who just looked evasively away. He always had hopes that Owen would start speaking up.

A lady dressed in a yellow fitted maxi dress with a green tiara on her head took the microphone. She said, “I am only a guest here tonight, but I want to say that pineapple tart is the best because it is an exquisite treat. Because something is loved by many just means it is popular. Look at me I am dressed as royalty – just like a pineapple.”

Owen heard her but he was more looking at how radiant she was. He thought that maybe she was one of his team member’s wives.

The crowd naturally retorted with their favorites and Team Coconut, who wore mostly white ensembles were the loudest. Team Guava shrieked but were outnumbered by the counterparts. The DJ chimed in that he loved all tarts so bring all flavors for him. He started playing soca and everyone started to dance. Jaime and Tina came back with the ‘pineapple lady.’

They both said, “Owen, we thought we would introduce you to your twin. She is Team Pineapple. Her name is Vincia.”

Owen just smiled.

Vincia responded, “Owen, your friends are delusional. How could they say that coconut or guava are better than pineapple?”

He laughed. She was beautiful and seemed so friendly.

“They are crazy, right? Foot shaving pie and guava cheese in dough… madness.”

He thought for a moment and decided to ask what he really wanted to know.

“Who are you here with?”

She smiled. “Mr. Todman is my uncle. He asked me to come tonight to get me out of the house. Plus, he knows that I would rep Team Pineapple hard!”

Owen didn’t plan for this excitement but remembered how his heart was beating just a few moments ago when she took the microphone from her uncle. She had all the right facets – good looks and a sense of humor. Most importantly, she loved Pineapple Tart.

He said, you surely look nice in this outfit – here looking like the queen of the ball, Ms. Pineapple.”

She blushed. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend and had nothing to lose.

They both smiled and asked at the same time, “Would you like to dance?” Giggling, they grabbed each other’s hands and proceeded to the dance floor as Machel Montano’s voice thundered through the speakers singing, “Happiest Man Alive.”

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Linette Rabsatt is a Virgin Islands poet with roots in the BVI and USVI who began writing in 1996. You can find her work in her Kindle book, "Be Inspired: Poems by Linette Rabsatt," in Pulse Poetry Magazine, on her blog, Words of Ribbon, and on the Visual Verse and Micromance Magazine websites. Her poems have been published in various journals, magazines, and anthologies. She won the 2024 Read Yuh Ting TOO Virtual Caribbean Poetry Contest and placed second in the 2025 Tell Yuh Story Contest.