Reflection of Your Emotions

Iqra Abbas reveals how it feels to be an empath and the emotional attachments that creates...

I was looking at the bus arriving. The bus stopped in front of me and I walked to ride on. I collided with the other passengers who were getting on. My shoulder rubbed against the shoulder of a high school girl.

A cold wave ran through my body. I looked at the girl who was looking out of the window with no expressions.

Her eyes seemed to be drowned in darkness. My heart felt so heavy like some huge stone was placed on my chest. Like I wanted to yell but was silenced by hopelessness.

I quickly ran out of the bus that was about to leave. The bus traveled away and I felt a little better.

Yes ! It’s because I can feel the pain of others. I truly hate having this ability. I came to realise that pain exists more than happiness does. But people smile more often than they want to.

I waited for the next bus to arrive. I saw another bus coming and took that one. It was filled with passengers and there was no place to sit. I grabbed the handle and stood beside the passengers that were standing already.

I smelled a strong citrus fragrance. It was coming from the boy in green shirt beside me. I looked up to see his face but it was not visible as he was wearing a green coloured baseball hat standing in crowd. I could only see his small but perfectly shaped lips.

I was still looking at him that a searing pain cut through my chest. I looked around in the crowd.

It was one of them feeling this much sadness still looking alright. I tried to step back but tripped over and crashed into that boy.

He held me wrapping his arm around me and his other arm was still holding onto the handle. I was leaning onto his chest. Finally his face was visible. “He has got such a small face,” I thought looking at his face that was round shaped with soft features.

My chest that felt heavy earlier felt a little lighter. I quickly tried to grab a handle and get off from him.

I bowed. “I am really sorry about that”

“It’s okay,” he answered in a deep voice, unlike his soft looks, and looked away.

I once again felt that stabbing pain in my chest.

“Is that him?” I thought, looking at him. The sadness was so heavy that I couldn’t stand still and slowly grabbed his hand that was hanging near his thighs. He looked at me with a curious gaze and I felt my chest getting lighter for a while.

“Found it! The source of sadness,” I thought.

I let go of his hand out of embarrassment. “I am sorry.” I repeated those words again.

Two empty seats were vacated beside window as passengers got off at the next station. The boy occupied the seat beside window and I sat down next to him.

He kept staring out of the window and my chest once again started to feel congested. I looked at him as his head was resting on the window mirror.

“It’s such a handsome face,” I thought. I got an urge to take his pain away even if it was for a little while. I grabbed his face and turned toward me, leaned toward him and kissed him on his lips. Tingling feeling in my heart made the sadness go away.

I could hear people gasping. I let him go as he looked at me as he was thunder struck with his mouth open.

I quickly stood up, pressed the buzzer and got off the bus. I was startled by my actions too and kept walking beside road.

“Ponytail!”

I heard the boy’s voice behind me. I turned around to look at him standing in front of me. He walked to me. I could feel every single step of him while he was approaching me. He took off his hat, held me by my shoulders and kissed me.