I don't mean to be unkind but: You write, "I can only see his back..." but open the piece by writing "I stare back at the man in front of me." Does this imply that his head is twisted, horror-style, behind him? ... "Even it meant..." I guess I'm supposed to insert the 'if' ie: "Even if it meant..." .."his breathes" This is a piece of flash fiction, no? Three short paragraphs. My point is there are far too many typos, errors, etc that should have been corrected by the editors. Seriously. I would like to learn more about the action that took place in the second line.
The author just contacted me about breathes/breaths, and I just noticed the omitted "if" and was on my way to correct it until I saw your unnecessarily sarcastic comment about it....
As far as the opening line and the third line not "adding up" to you, I read it as she stared back -meaning she looked back at him... And, therefore, didn't see the issue you have seen, and I don't see it as an error.
As far as the two errors that did slip by me, you may or may not have heard that I was having a rough and overwhelming time with things for a bit. I'm one person (a mere human being), reading thousands of words per week (sometimes per day)- stories, micros, poems - some by non-native English speakers, some by writers with disabilities, ALL by mere human beings. Typos happen. And occasionally, some are overlooked by these ol' eyes, even - especially - in short pieces like this one that are easy to quickly read through. I already apologized to the writer and will fix it.
I now have another set of eyes helping in drafting and scheduling, but she is only a human being as well, and I am almost certain there will be other misspelled words, omitted conjuntions, misplaced commas, etc. *shrugs* Sorry, but we're not robotic spell check machines.
As far as criticizing peoples' writing, we don't do that here. It's fine to *graciously* point out a typo - others have done just that, and without a word, I correct it. But we don't criticize voice, and we don't put down a story or poem we don't like or understand, and we don't criticize the staff - I do the absolute best I can, and so does Katie. If you can do better, I eagerly await the opening of your lit mag!
Hello Wayne. As the author I wanted to reach out. I did spot an error or two in the piece after it was published and reached out. Gail was happy enough to go in and agree to get them changed and I was frustrated that I had not caught them myself. I do try to do better than that. As per the beginning, as this was a very short piece, I didn’t imply all movement. He was staring back at her and then turned to get between her and the others. Sometimes in short fiction, it becomes hard to have full expression and movement within a piece. Like with artwork, it becomes suggestive. But, I do thank you for trying to edit a piece that you stumbled upon in order to make it better in your own eyes.
I don't mean to be unkind but: You write, "I can only see his back..." but open the piece by writing "I stare back at the man in front of me." Does this imply that his head is twisted, horror-style, behind him? ... "Even it meant..." I guess I'm supposed to insert the 'if' ie: "Even if it meant..." .."his breathes" This is a piece of flash fiction, no? Three short paragraphs. My point is there are far too many typos, errors, etc that should have been corrected by the editors. Seriously. I would like to learn more about the action that took place in the second line.
The author just contacted me about breathes/breaths, and I just noticed the omitted "if" and was on my way to correct it until I saw your unnecessarily sarcastic comment about it....
As far as the opening line and the third line not "adding up" to you, I read it as she stared back -meaning she looked back at him... And, therefore, didn't see the issue you have seen, and I don't see it as an error.
As far as the two errors that did slip by me, you may or may not have heard that I was having a rough and overwhelming time with things for a bit. I'm one person (a mere human being), reading thousands of words per week (sometimes per day)- stories, micros, poems - some by non-native English speakers, some by writers with disabilities, ALL by mere human beings. Typos happen. And occasionally, some are overlooked by these ol' eyes, even - especially - in short pieces like this one that are easy to quickly read through. I already apologized to the writer and will fix it.
I now have another set of eyes helping in drafting and scheduling, but she is only a human being as well, and I am almost certain there will be other misspelled words, omitted conjuntions, misplaced commas, etc. *shrugs* Sorry, but we're not robotic spell check machines.
As far as criticizing peoples' writing, we don't do that here. It's fine to *graciously* point out a typo - others have done just that, and without a word, I correct it. But we don't criticize voice, and we don't put down a story or poem we don't like or understand, and we don't criticize the staff - I do the absolute best I can, and so does Katie. If you can do better, I eagerly await the opening of your lit mag!
Hello Wayne. As the author I wanted to reach out. I did spot an error or two in the piece after it was published and reached out. Gail was happy enough to go in and agree to get them changed and I was frustrated that I had not caught them myself. I do try to do better than that. As per the beginning, as this was a very short piece, I didn’t imply all movement. He was staring back at her and then turned to get between her and the others. Sometimes in short fiction, it becomes hard to have full expression and movement within a piece. Like with artwork, it becomes suggestive. But, I do thank you for trying to edit a piece that you stumbled upon in order to make it better in your own eyes.